Do You Accept Yourself?

July 31, 2013 in Self Love by Jill

why fit in when you were born to stand out

Accepting yourself one of the great ways of loving yourself. It means loving everything about you, from your feelings to your body, your mind and your actions. It is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. This is what acceptance means to me.

Accepting yourself means being only you. Don’t be what other people want you to be and don’t be like other people to make them like (or love) you. You are your own unique self. Life would be very boring if we were all the same. Embrace your special talents, your uniqueness and share them with the world. As Dr Suess said, why fit in, you were born to stand out?”

Accepting yourself means to feel the emotions you feel. It doesn’t mean changing them into something they are not. If you are feeling angry, be angry. Don’t try and control your feelings and put them in a box. Instead take yourself away into your bedroom and punch your pillow, or as I do when I am angry or raged, I hop on my bicycle ride until there is no one around and scream to the top of my lungs. During my life I have become proficient at keeping my emotions, particularly the negative ones, in a deep place within me. But now I embrace them. I don’t try and change them into something they are not. Instead I accept them for what they are, and the funny thing is that once you accept them they disappear.

Accepting yourself also means, doing what you want to do, not what other people want you to do. Dream your own dreams, not anybody else’s. If you want to travel the world, then travel the world. Don’t let other people tell you can’t do anything, just do whatever you want.  I remember a particular conversation I had with my dad in early 2012. I was sitting on the couch with him, smiling, almost smirking, with a giggle, and saying ‘Dad, don’t worry. Just watch me’. I have a feeling the conversation would have been about money, houses, having a family, career or something in the future. But I know in my core, if I do whatever makes me happy then everything will work out perfectly. I am fairly certain, dad is extremely proud of me and still loves me, even if I don’t do things his way.

Accepting yourself means doing your own little quirky, unique things. I read my journal earlier in the year from when I first went to high school. I wrote about a particular day that labelled me as the ‘crazy’ kid. I was full of energy, buzzing around the class, laughing and just being silly. Not that I remember a specific moment, but at some point soon after this particular day I must have taken those comments to heart, and embraced my serious self. It is sad to think back on it now, but it wasn’t until the last few years that I have got my groove back, and do silly little dances and songs. That is loving yourself.

Accepting yourself also means, giving yourself ample positive feedback, not negative judgements. I recently completed two weeks of writing 5 things positive about myself every night. By doing this, I am now able to comment on myself and say “Wow, I am awesome”. This was not an egotistical exercise, but about accepting my greatness. And yes each one of us is great, for some it just needs unleashing.

Accepting yourself means seeing every opportunity as lesson to grow. There is no such thing as failing, despite it being one of my greatest fears.  Every time something doesn’t work as well as I hoped I have always learnt something from it. Even when I experienced a feeling of near-drowning, I learnt so much from that experience about intuition, and my need to control situations that I am grateful for the experience.