Fear of Judgement

June 26, 2013 in Fear by Jill

Is fear of how people will judge you stopping you from living your true dreams and life? Are you thinking about doing something different with your life but the fear of being told you can’t do it stopping you? Are you feeling stuck or trapped in your own fear because you are worried what the ‘neighbour’ will think? Do you fear you may lose friends from doing something out of the ordinary?

All of these questions are ringing a loud yes for me. It was only last week that I shared with Matt my fears about what will people think in relation to creating this blog. Will I lose some friends while I explore the truth in loving myself? What if people think I am not living in the ‘real’ world? What if people think I am ‘different’? What will my family think? Do I even love myself enough to even warrant writing a blog about self love?

Admitting it to myself (and to Matt) was embarrassing enough, but I realised I must share this with my readers as I know I too am not the only one who has these fears.

The fears that are within my own head were never present when I was born; it is during my life have I taken on the fears of other people, including my parents, teachers, friends, the media such as TV shows, news, movies, and through my own experiences. But the truth I have come to realise is that those judgements, opinions, fears and concerns are only others’ fears, not mine. It is only if I choose to take on these fears that they will become my own fears, limiting me from living my own life. And since my life is the one I am living, today I choose not to embrace their fears.

Mahatma-Gandhi-quote-First-they-ignore-you-then-they-laugh-at-you-then-they-fight-you-then-you-win

Do you think Gandhi would have achieved what he did if he allowed the fear of others influence him?

 

Now here are three very easy steps I use to deal with my fears, which evidently worked, seeing I did launch this blog, and didn’t just talk about it.

First Step:  Become aware that you are fearful or scared. You won’t be able to say goodbye to the fear unless you acknowledge it is there. Say Hi to it. This is actually something I have done before, “Hi fear of …”. Be aware of the tension you hold in your body. For me I sometimes feel it in my shoulders, or my stomach or my heart.

Second Step: Accept that it is there. By doing this you are accepting its presence. Don’t fight it or challenge it, because you will then give it more attention, and by giving it more attention you are giving it more power over you, and you will feel even more powerless. But by allowing it to be there and being ok with it, takes its power away.

Third Step: The fear magically disappears and you then take action and do whatever your heart sings for you to do, such as starting a new blog about self love, or surfing a new reef break, or reisgn from your job, or leave your hometown, or doing whatever you dream about.

Disclaimer: This only works if you can honestly and openly accept it for what it is. And remember, “I love you, just the way you are”, even if you are fearful.