What to do when you are judging your flabby tummy: A guide to self-compassion

November 5, 2013 in Self Love by Jill

Jill feeding birds



How many of us are truly compassionate towards ourselves? Some of you may say, “yes I am a compassionate person”, but are you compassionate towards yourself?

Do you show yourself compassion when you are judging your flabby tummy hanging over your jeans, or when you made an inappropriate comment to your friend, or when you didn’t get the job?

Do you give yourself understanding and love when you totally f*#k up? Or do you tell yourself I am worthless, not good enough or stupid?

The negative judgements and criticisms are sometimes soft whispers, and other times they are so loud you can’t hearing anything else. If you are not conscious of them you can start to believe them.

They can make you feel lousy, alone and even self-hatred.

Negative judgements also cause a separation between ourselves and those surrounding us. We feel disconnected, and feel no one understands us. We walk around with blinkers on oblivious to the beauty in our lives. 

When we love ourselves we feel more connected with others. We perform small acts of kindness. We smile and laugh. The flow of life is effortless, just like a dolphin gliding through the sea.  

Self-compassion is one tool that can be used to provide ourselves with love, and make a positive change. It can alleviate suffering to allow peace and harmony to be felt.

Self-compassion can allow us to be free.

Here is a poem about self-compassion; one I hope will enlighten you to be kinder, more loving and accepting of yourself.


Care for yourself in the way a best friend does
on the days when you are feeling blue, and
more so at the times when you are harshly judging yourself.
Patience, understanding and love are the key,
as with humanity, empathy and a desire to alleviate your pain.
So, on the days you are suffering, wrap your arms around yourself, or
stroke your face like a mother comforting her child.
It may feel strange, or embarrassing, but the truth is you are yearning self-love, not self-hate.
Oneness and connectedness can be felt through compassion. Your self-judgement is separating you from everyone else.
Now, don’t be afraid, loved one. Surrender to your pain, and give yourself compassion and the love you truly need.